


Bleeding Out

by BloodRaven1996



Category: HTTYD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 09:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7679476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodRaven1996/pseuds/BloodRaven1996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story contains self harm, suicide attempt, you have been warned. Hiccup is tired of life and wants to take the easy way out, so he tries to end it all. Will his dad save him in time? Read to find out! Father/son conflict and bonding One shot.</p>
<p>So I'm sitting here bored out of my damn mind in front of my moms tablet, So I decided to write a one shot of Hiccup and Stoick, so yeah . Hope you people enjoy it ! Warning this story contains, self harm, suicide and father/ son moments. Originally posted on my fanfiction please check it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bleeding Out

so I'm sitting here bored out of my damn mind in front of my moms tablet, So I decided to write a one shot of Hiccup and Stoick, so yeah . Hope you people enjoy it ! Warning this story contains, self harm, suicide and father/ son moments

I Own Nothing

Bleeding Out

 

I was sitting in my room, tracing my ink pen around on a piece of paper of my scrap book, I didn't know what I was drawing at this point, all I was doing was guiding my finger along paper, making a few traces here and their. My mind was drifting, not staying focused at all, my heart was heavy as I could feel all my emotions building up inside of me, I felt like I was going to explode.

I was inside my room for a reason, for starters I was grounded, again. And this time it was something really stupid, something I tried to pull off, I was testing out one of my new gadgets like always and well... I kind set the entire village on fire, almost at least, I didn't set my house on fire though, thank the gods, or else I would be stuck at the forge again, listening to Gobber lecture me, it's already bad enough listening to my dad.

Oh my dad, the one person in the world that will never understand me, or any of my problems.

That's one thing I'll never tell him, my own battle with depression, me going to my room and well, cutting my self. it doesn't hurt as much as it did before, I can't feel much in my wrist any more, the only thing I have now is bunch of scars. All my little reminders on how much of a screw up I am in this world, the only thing that keeps me sane, its my own personal way of healing, even if it means I have to hurt my self to heal.

It all started when I was ten, that had to be the worst day of my life.

Flashback...

My father was yelling at me, scolding me for doing one of my pathetic stunts like always.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" My fathers voice boomed as he pushed me inside our house.

"I...I.." I could hardly talk, I was terrified of my father, I thought he was going to hit me.

He sighed." Just go to your room, you,v already messed up enough for one day."

" I'm...I'm sorry daddy." I whimpered, wiping my tears away.

" Just go, Hiccup!" He scold, he hated it when it when I cried in front of him, he wanted me to be tough like him, but I could never be the son he wanted, not in a long shot. I slowly walked up the steps with my head in shame,I felt so worthless, so pathetic.

I opened my door and landed on my bed, resting my tear soak face on my pillow, sobbing softly so my dad couldn't hear me. I was tired of feeling sad all the time, I wanted to feel something different besides sadness, sorrow, I wanted to feel something else.

After a five minute sob fest I reached over to my drawer, pulling out my small hunting knife I got for my birthday last year, the only nice gift I ever got from my father.

I heard that different types of pain can cause you to feel, well... relaxed. At first I thought it was stupid, but at this point I didn't want to feel sad or depressed anymore, I wanted to be happy again.

I pressed the cold metal against my pale wrist, moving it side ways, it hurt a little bit at first but I didn't stop their, I moved the blade over to my other wrist as my left was pouring out bright red liquid. Blood.

I let the pain take over my arms, feeling a bit better. Feeling a bit happy.

I snapped back in to reality, looking down at my drawing, it was nothing but a black hole, sucking everything in to it, getting rid of the light and entering the darkness, I was already in it.

I got up and heard my dad coming through the front door, great.

"Hiccup." He said sternly. Oh great just what I need another lecture on how much of a mistake I am.

I walked down stairs, dreading on what was going to happen next, I didn't even look at my dad, I kept my eyes on the ground, avoiding his gaze.

" What were you thinking, Hiccup." He said bitterly. " You could have killed somebody, have you no shame?" He asked.

I just stood there, nodding my head at him. I didn't want to speak, I was to afraid of him, I was tired of being a mistake, a waste of space. I was nothing to my dad, the only thing I am is a accident.

And nothing else but an accident.

I'm not the strong, healthy viking that he wanted. I'm scrawny, weak, fragile and well...ugly. everyone hates me because I'm different, I'm not like everyone else.

" Hiccup are you listening to me?." My dad said, catching my attention.

I looked up at him with my green glossy eyes, I nodded.

He sighed." Go back to your room." He turned away, head towards the front door." Just stay inside." He slammed the door leaving me alone.

I walked back up stairs to my room.

What's the point of me staying around? No one will notice, let alone care.

I wasn't made to stay on this earth, I was nothing but a curse to this village, a burden to my father.

I should just do everyone a favor and just leave, and when I mean leave, I mean I should just end my own life. Everyone is better off without me, to day is the day all my pain and suffering will end, making everyone's lives on Berk a little easier.

I go through my drawers, pulling out some paper, I began to write my final good bye to my dad, telling him I'm sorry for being a disappointment to him, telling him that he won't have to deal with me anymore.

I finished writing, sitting the note on my desk, I looked over on my bed as I reached over under my pillow pulling out my cutting knife, that was only thing I need.

I decided to go through my window, I didn't want no one to see me.

I decided to go to raven point to die, why? Because it was the most peaceful spot to end my life at, not having to worry about anyone finding me, my dad or no one will find me, not any time soon at least. I pop my head out the window opening my window, it wasn't a high jump, I propped my self out on to the roof, slowly making my way out, then I jumped.

I landed on my feet, then with out no care in the world, I started to run towards the woods, Raven Point.

My heart was racing, part of it was filled with excitement, knowing that I was finally going to die felt like a joy of relief, like a gush of wind hitting me in the face, taking in that breath of fresh air. My small feet were hitting the wet ground, it was raining a little bit, the wind was silent, the wet rain hitting the soil, making the forest smell clean, refreshing.

It felt like forever for me to reach raven point, felt like five hours was merely fifteen minutes. I looked up at some of the trees, seeing a black bird, raven, looking down at me with it's black eyes, staring in to my helpless soul, mocking me in some sort of way, knowing that I was weak.

Then what seemed like forever, I finally reached my destination.

This was it, my grave, my death spot.

I layed up against a large tree, covered in moss. It looked comfortable, I sat down under the tree, pulling the knife out of my belt, rolling up my sleeves, all the way up to my elbows, preparing my self. I pulled out the blade and began on my left arm, I started at the middle of my elbow, looking for the vain, I started to press down hard, forcing it in until I saw blood pouring out, it hurt at first, but then it went numb, I began to laugh like a mad man, as I continued to work my way down to my wrist.

I didn't stop with my left arm, once I was done I moved over to my right forearm, doing the same , except pushing in the blade deeper so I could bleed faster, I was being inpatient, but who could blame me? At this point I could no longer feel my arms, they looked like I stuck them through a meat grinder.

I was still laughing, until I started to sob, my tears began to hit my blood soaked wrist, the salt of my tears sting a little. I winced a little, but my body started to relax, I could feel the world around me spin. I started to feel weak as my arms and legs were soaked in blood, the rain started to hit harder the wind began to pick up.

At this point I slumped against the tree, drifting in and out. Everything started to go blurry, everything seemed all fuzzy, my body felt warm as if I was in a hot bath, or in front of a roaring fire, everything seemed perfect.I couldn't feel anything, my ears started to ring, I looked over behind me and saw something, a figure, a large figure coming towards me, running.

As it got closer I could started to tell who it was.

Dad.

I was shock, how did he find me out here? And why? He doesn't care about me.

"HICCUP!" He screamed, running over towards me, I could feel him pick me up." What happened!? What did you do?!"

I cocked my head towards him, giving him my last words before I passed out in his arms." I'm doing you a...favor...by... leaving...you"

He looked at me with horror, regret." Hiccup, hang on...please." he begged.

"I can't...I'm...better off...dead." my last words trailed off.

"HICCUP! NO!" My father screamed as he held me in his now blood soaked arms, my blood covering him as I saw more people gather around us.

Then everything went black, my eyes rolled to the back of my head as I went in to shock, tears were rolling out of my fathers eyes as he screamed for someone to get the healer. Then darkness consumed me within seconds.

"HICCUP!"

Later...

I tossed my head to the side, opening my eyes. I looked up, I was in my room.

My dad was at the end of my bed, sleeping on the edge, his large hand resting on my leg, I pulled a little bit, waking him up. He got up, looking at me with sadness, a few tears running down his face."Hiccup." He choked, grabbing me, hugging me in his strong arms.

I was coddled in his grip, My face resting on his chest, his large hand making circles on my back.

" Oh thank god you,re okay." He said softly.

I was confused, I thought he would be angry with me, let alone touch me. Why was he acting like this?

Then his hand rested on my face, forcing me to looked at him, I didn't want to.

"Why Hiccup?, Why in Odin would you scare me like that?" He asked softly.

Without no irony I said." I'm a mistake, dad." I turned away." I'm pathetic, everything I touch I mess up, I'm Hiccup the useless and it's always going to be that way."

Then my dad grabbed me again, making me look at him.

"Listen to me my son, I love you and I always will, you are not a mistake, you are my wonderful artist son and I will always love you no matter what." He stoked my cheek." You may not be a viking, but you are special to me, your just like your mother, always full of dreams and artist ways of life." He said proudly, he never liked talking about my mother, it was all too painful for him, she was the love of his life and right after she was killed my father could barely look at me.

I started to cry, tears slowly streaming down my face, I felt his fingers wiping them away as he told me his kind words.

" I know I'm not a good father, I was trying to protect you, but that was mistake that I can't take back now, but I want to try to make things up to you, let me try to help you."

I haven't felt affection or attention like this in a long time, I never thought my dad wanted to help me, he asked me why I cut my self, I told him why I did it, he seemed so upset on why I did this to my self, the he asked me how long I have been doing this, I told him almost five years now, he told me he was going to do his best to help me.

My dad kept blaming him self, I told him it was my fault, but he told me it was his.

" I'm sorry Hiccup, oh gods I did this to you."

"Dad you're not the one who cuts them self almost everyday, believe me its not your fault." I said the best way I could, not putting all of the blame on him, he was my father after all.

"How can you say that!" He said bitterly" I drove you away, I neglected you for years Hiccup."

I sighed, feeling awful.

" Hiccup look at me." He said sternly.

I looked at him.

"I love you with every fiber of my body, I will get you through this, I don't know how but I promise you, I will be a better father." He said softly, his voice almost cracking a bit as he pulled me in tightly.

I hugged him, I wanted thing to get better for us, I wanted have a happy family again, just me and him. Whatever it takes I just want to be happy again. The scars on my wrist was going to be my constant reminder of me being alive, my constant reminder of my depression, but all I know is my father will never stop loving me.

But this time, I won't be bleeding out.

The end.

Half ass ending I know :( sorry if it wasn't the ending you guys were expecting but all well its a one shot who cares.


End file.
